Do you feel rage creep up when too much is going on around you? Do you freak out on your kids when they’ve been yelling and crying, hanging on your legs or whacking their sibling with a book? Do you find yourself asking your toddlers for just 5 minutes? If so, you are not alone.
I can’t tell you how many times over the last year I’ve used the word, “overstimulated” to describe my state of mind. Some specifics I can offer are my two year old screaming at the top of his lungs because we are out of “drink” yogurts, my one year old throwing herself on the ground because I didn’t realize I was supposed to pick her up, the TV blasting Paw Patrol all while my dog whines in my face to be pet.
Unfortunately, my natural response to being overstimulated is verbally expressing my rage. This morning I yelled at my son in a way that I never have before because I was incredibly burnt out, which then lead to intense mom guilt.
If you’ve been in a similar situation, just remember it doesn’t mean you’re a bad mom. It means that we need to regulate our nervous system – get our bodies out of that fight or flight response when our cortisol rises. For those who don’t know, cortisol is our stress hormone and is essential to our daily living. Here are some ways I’m regulating my nervous system.
- See A Therapist Who Specializes In Parenthood
- While this may not be an option for everyone, motherhood is the biggest part of my life right now. Every choice I make is made with my kids in mind. Choosing a therapist that specializes in what consumes me is one of the best things I’ve done for myself.
- Get Outside
- I know I say this in almost every post, but being outside really does something for my nervous system. This is especially true in the winter when I’m typically confined within the four walls of my home. Connecting with nature settles me, even if I’m only out for a few minutes.
- Box Breathing
- I’ve been doing this for years – all different variations. You breathe in for four seconds, hold it for four seconds, breathe out for four seconds, hold again for four seconds. I typically do this at least four of five times. You’d be surprised how fast it works! You can actually feel your heart rate slowing relatively quick.
- Eat A Wholesome Meal
- Knowing that I’m nourishing my body with good foods helps me feel better physically and mentally. I know when I eat like crap, I’m more likely to snap. This can be due to a sugar crash or just feeling icky after eating something I know isn’t good for my body.
- Prioritize Sleep
- This has been one of the biggest contributors to keeping calm. I have an Oura ring that tracks my sleep data each night. No surprises, but I’ve learned when I go to sleep earlier, I end up with a better score. During the winter, it’s easier for me to be in bed by 9 pm. It’s been dark for hours at that point and I like to get up early, so I’ve been aiming to be in bed between 9-9:30 pm with a wakeup time at 5:30 am.
- Cuddle Your Pet
- Yes, sometimes my dog is part of the overstimulation, but I find when I pet or snuggle her, my breath slows and my mind grows calmer. Animals offer us unconditional love and companionship. Holding them is sometimes enough to make everything better.
- Yes, sometimes my dog is part of the overstimulation, but I find when I pet or snuggle her, my breath slows and my mind grows calmer. Animals offer us unconditional love and companionship. Holding them is sometimes enough to make everything better.
- Give Yourself Grace
- I’m giving myself permission to be a human. Yes, mothers are the salt of the Earth – I will say this to the end of time. But we are also normal people with normal emotions. We can’t always be cool, calm and collected. It’s just not possible. What we can do is try our best not to implode on our kids because that doesn’t feel great for anyone. But if and when we do, say an apology as that’s important for your kids to see. And then let it gooooooo.
I hope this reminds you that you’re not alone. You’re not broken and you’re definitely not a bad mom. Overstimulation is a response that our bodies are carrying a load that is too heavy right now. We are raising loud humans in a loud world. Be kind to yourself, take a breath and know that you are doing a great job!
XO,
Kassie
