Self-care is hard to come by these days. At one point I was blessed by the sleep gods – both my kids slept 7 PM – 7 AM. Unfortunately, those days have come to a pause (I’m choosing to call it a ‘pause’ in hopes that good sleep will find us again). Noah has transitioned from his crib to a toddler bed, and we are going through it at night.
While I know this is all part of parenthood and each phase is temporary, it doesn’t make it any less exhausting when you’re in the thick of it. With that said I’m prioritizing sleep in this season of motherhood, so I’m not always waking up before my kids. My mornings have now shifted from an hour to myself to “I’ll take what I can get.”
The result? Long and tiring days where it seems as though I’m grasping at every moment possible to find time for myself. This has left me depleted and honestly, not the best mother at times. The phrase “you can’t pour from an empty cup” has never felt more true.
While I don’t have the time for self-care as I once did, I still recognize its importance. I’ve been leaning in to micro self-care moments throughout my day, and when I do get longer than 30 minutes to myself, I fully embrace it – even if that means I’m laying horizontal in silence.
If you’re in a similar season of life, I hope this gives you a few realistic ideas for taking care of yourself in a way that actually fits into your day.
- Applying Skincare Intentionally
- I have a very low maintenance skincare routine and more often than not, I’m trying to pick my clothes for the day while I’m slathering moisturizer on my face. When I actually take my time and apply that extra step of vitamin C, I feel like I’m putting in more effort for myself.
- Use Your Favorite Mug
- I’m a coffee lover and genuinely look forward to it each morning. Drinking out of my favorite mug makes the moment feel cozier.
- Step Outside
- Since we moved to the suburbs and we have a door that literally opens to our backyard (oh the things I didn’t understand in the city), I can step outside and feel the sun and breeze to ground myself especially while a meltdown is ensuing.
- Spend An Extra Minute In The Car
- If I get a chance to drive without my kids, I sometimes will sit in my car when I get home to finish a song I love or to enjoy the silence for a moment longer. If my kids are with me, I’ll still make an effort not to jump out of the car. If they are calm in their car seats, I’ll still take a minute to collect myself before getting everyone into the house.
- Lock The Bathroom Door
- This may seem wild, but with two toddlers I am constantly being joined during what are supposed to be guaranteed private moments. As long as I know my kids are safe, I feel okay locking the bathroom door to do my business for a couple minutes. If you are a mom, you know this too well.
- Smell Your Favorite Scent
- Whether it’s a candle, food or plant we all have a scent that just does it for us. For me, I am obsessed with Sand and Fog candles from Home Goods – specifically California Beach House. This scent immediately brings me peace and makes me feel like I’m in a Malibu home with the salty ocean air right outside my door. Find ways to incorporate your smell into more household items – such as a hand soap or lotion.
- Touch Grass
- Literally. Go barefoot and connect with the Earth. It might sound a little woo woo, but I feel so much calmer after doing this.
- Listen To Music While You Cook
- If you’re a mom, you probably spend a lot of time cooking for your kids. I’ve been trying to listen to music more often while I cook because it really does romanticize the moment! If you don’t love cooking, this could be a great way to get into it. I like to listen to Italian Dinner Music while I cook because who doesn’t love a little Frank Sinatra?! It’s also a good way to get your kids involved or keep them entertained if you’re cooking while alone with them.
- Wear A Robe
- I LOVE a robe. I have a robe for every season but my favorites are the really oversized and plush ones. I highly recommend investing in a nice robe that makes you feel like you’re wearing a blanket, but I also think it’s nice to have one that makes you feel confident. I know that sounds funny, but it’s also fun to have a “getting ready” robe that gets you excited to go out.
- Utilize Screen Time Efficiently
- Listen, I absolutely was that mom that said I wasn’t going to introduce my kids to TV until they were older but once I realized how helpful it could be, I changed my mind. I’m not saying to put your kid in front of a TV for hours, but if you can have a 30-60 minute break to do something for yourself, why not take it? It’s almost a guaranteed break you can look forward to and know you have that time.
Lately, I‘ve been having a really tough time feeling stretched thin, overstimulated, overtired and constantly needed. While I know this won’t last forever, I also want to validate my feelings in realizing this is a difficult time. These small acts of self-care aren’t anything groundbreaking, but they are little ways I can come back to myself when I’ve hit my limit. I know one day I’ll look back at this time and I won’t think of the tough nights, the noise, the depletion. I’ll remember the love, chaos and warmth of my little family. I’ll remember the way my kids needed me at this time and how I was their safe space. Equally as important, I’ll remember that I loved myself enough to create small moments just for me. <3
XO,
Kassie
